You Can't Have Him

Okay, I know I’m flinging the door wide open for all you hillbillies and rednecks and all the rest of you who are more comfortable on a tractor than behind a computer screen, to get a good chuckle over what I am about to admit, but I'll do it anyway. We got ourselves a brand, spanking new riding lawn mower to take care of our expanse of lawn.  Pretty spiffy, eh?

www.dreamstime.com

Ours is a John Deere ; >

 Yup, Steve sure thinks so, and I loudly proclaim about how much he is enjoying his new toy. Fact is, I kind of enjoy it, too, enough to want to try it, but well, it is a beast, and it does roar, and, and, how do I get it to back up?  Help! This is scary! Well, this is where Steve comes in. He is patient as the day is long when it comes to teaching his little wife anything, and this is certainly no exception. I did manage to get the beast to move in a reasonably straight line, but boy was it scary ducking under the branches of our overgrown Manitoba maples!! If I was smart enough, and brave enough, I would have used a back and forth motion normally called reverse and forward, but first time I tried to go in reverse, I stalled the creature and called for my hubby! I won’t brag that he came running to my rescue, naw, he’s too laid back for that,(somebody has to be!) but he did come, and he did continue with his patient instructions, and he did encourage me to just keep on. Well, keep on I did, and I even confessed to him that I nicked a tree but good.  Hey, it was only a volunteer poplar in our homemade grove, but it was a tree none the less, (Once again I had been petrified of getting hit by a nasty ole branch.) He asked which tree it was then just shrugged his shoulders without reminding me that he had warned me not to get too close to the trees until I was more experienced.

Boy, are you up to your Adam’s apple with all my bragging. Just one more comment and I’ll give you a break. You can’t have, 'em, and I’m not talking about the lawn mower!
P.S. Please don't tell my sister about my fears. She'd be so amazed!