Dear Diary,
I have never
known such stress in my life: both good stress and bad. Yesterday we were able
to bring our little baby home. He is so sweet, and already so precious. The
flight back seemed so long and I was eager to see our other adopted boy and
hold him in my arms once again. I wonder how they take to each other.
Dear God,
Hold me, please, please hold me close. I find breathing so hard. It’s making me
want to panic. Lord, there can’t be something wrong! It is supposed to be the
happiest years of our life. We just got our second child after so many years of
waiting.
Oh, thank
you for helping me relax. Thank you for such a caring Christian husband.
Dear Diary,
My worst
fears were confirmed, and a round of chemo has begun. How will I ever cope? I
feel so weak and nauseated already, and to think of this going on day after
day, week after week while—no I won’t go there. There will be breaks in between
when I am feeling better.
I want so
much to be there for our precious little boys. How can I ‘be there’ for them
when I am feeling so ill?
Dear Diary,
We are
staying at Kale’s folks for a while. The adjustment isn't too bad. It’s good to
get off my feet and not feel so responsible. Kale’s Mom is so good with the
children. She doesn't mind playing with them by the hour. Kevin is great, also.
They are so patient with the boys. I wonder if they know how grateful I am for
all they do for us.
Dear Diary,
I see the
strain in Polly’s ( Kale’s Mom’s) eyes. I know she worries, they all do, and I
wish I wasn't such a burden. If it wasn't for the comforting Presence of our
Heavenly Father I don’t know how we would get through this terrible time.
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