Let Him Hold You

Someone is trudging through a valley. Someone is carrying burdens heavier than you or I have ever carried, or maybe that someone is you. I prayed and prayed that I could write an article that would touch and comfort your heart but feel so inadequate.

The cry of my heart is: ‘Let my heart be broken by the things that break your heart, oh, God. Let’s me make a difference, let me bear the pain, give me Lord a caring heart.’ Those are words of my favorite song, but I have no idea who wrote them.  Maybe Bob Pierce?

You are suffering: maybe you have been imprisoned wrongfully and are beaten or subjected to solitary confinement or other cruelties. Maybe you are dying—I hate to write this word—of cancer and feel far too young to die. Maybe all your life you have endured shame and abuse and it feels like there is no way out.

What can I offer you? Reach out to the hand of Jesus if you haven’t already.  I have found him to be my greatest Comforter in the deepest of valleys.

Let go and rest in Him: let Him fill your being as you give yourself in full unconditional surrender to whatever you are facing. Don’t resist the cross you have to carry; it truly is a blessing in disguise.

Before I was healed I seemed to have sweeter communion with my Maker and now I have to struggle along like ‘normal’ people do. J

But, maybe on top of everything else you are facing persecution or some other form of abuse. I discovered a verse this morning that hopefully will be a blessing to you. ‘Show me a token for good; that they which hate me may see it, and be ashamed: because thou Lord, has helped and comforted me.’ Psalms 86:17 Perhaps,  your sweet, Christ-like spirit will touch someone’s heart. Who knows?

Possibly you are closer to Heaven than the rest of us, or perhaps not. Don’t fear or resist the thought of ‘going through the veil’. If or when you do you are actually luckier than the others because you can meet Jesus, our Beloved Comforter, face to face, and your troubles, heartache and suffering will fall away like a garment.

Let Him Hold You!

When One Isn't Enough

I’ve been one of those people who say ‘one cat, that’s all. Absolutely no more cats belong in the house.’
 Okay, but what do you do when your daughter begs and begs for her own precious kitten. Well, what I did is not what you are expecting, I didn’t say yes and I didn’t say no, but I did say “Go ask your Dad,” so now you know what happened.

       Our docile, completely trainable Dreamboy, a big, fluffy cat, became ‘uncle’ to an absolute rascal. How in the world do you train a feline that seems to be part monkey and part flying acrobat, to stay off the furniture to say nothing of the counters and table? Well, I tried, and am trying with the assistance of a tiny water sprayer. It helps: sorta. That is while I am around. But

That is not the end of the story.

       Good old Sheba died. Our meek and gentle, friendly part Golden Retriever is out ‘rabbit hunting’ as it were, and won’t  be coming back,  and now I was left with a hole in my heart.  I didn’t even know how much I would miss her until the days, then weeks just kept ticking by.

       In my heart of hearts I knew no one would replace Sheba except one with a similar nature and hey, we found him! Beagles are pleasingly similar to Goldens in temperament.   
     .
       As close as we can figure the little guy we chose was born very close to the time Sheba passed.  (Oh, sorry, I got that wrong, he chose me.)

 Ok, but what sensible human would have a menagerie in the house, pray-tell? Not I naturally, or would I? How could you leave such a tiny adorable puppy outside in the cold and the dark? He might get lonely, or worse yet, lost. 

 So when Rusty romped in to join the kitty pair there’s a cautious eyeing of each other for a while but of course that lively rambunctious kitten of our daughter’s soon wants to play, and, well, let’s just say that things got pretty lively until Dreamboy decided to investigate. He is nicknamed ‘Uncle’ and he tolerated his role more or less towards Hercules, but along comes this blundering scamp who is ‘picking on’ his charge.

Last night Dreamboy was pacing around on top of the coffee table ready to give the guileless puppy a lesson with those sharp claws of his because there was a dog and cat fight going on at his feet.  This was getting interesting; we never knew ‘uncle’ would feel that loyal to the little nuisance that had invaded his peaceful existence.

What would happen to Rusty? Would he learn not to be so rough when the kitten’s guardian is around? Nope! In his happy go lucky way he was off to other adventures before ‘uncle’ had a chance to swipe.

Be careful little guy, you’re precious to me. God knew just who I needed to fill that aching void in my heart, and since you bounced into the scene, I’m healing up pretty rapidly.  

not exactly as illustrated

P.S. Yes, even though the dog is smart and catches on very quickly, I am glad we have laminated flooring.

Nope they aren't the same dog, they're google images but which one can I remove?

The Cauldron of Pain

Ever have a caldron thumped in front of you?

It was quite a surprise; no I mean shock wasn’t it: a shock to the whole system. I don’t mean a real caldron now, but it’s sure real enough.

Someone offered to give me free laser therapy treatment, something I had never even heard of before, and I thought sure why not. Before I knew it she was looking me deep in the eyes and saying you have deep burdens. Me? I thought I was a happy, peaceful person, but would you believe I started to cry! Not only that but I was spilling out memories I haven’t been talking about for years. Again she gave me that deep penetrating look. Have you forgiven your Dad? I honestly thought I was able to several years ago, but the next question was harder. Have you forgiven yourself?

I feel like stopping there, but it wouldn't be fair to either you or me. Forgive myself? How could I? I’m the one to blame for not being a better mother, I’m the one to blame for every mistake my children have ever made, every discord between hubby and me, I am the one to blame for been          “ “ attractive”"  to my Dad. Does it sound familiar? Is it easy to forgive oneself?  

She told me the abuse usually starts at around the age of five—I told her my flashbacks reached back to my infancy--. She told me to take that baby me and hold her close, tell her she’s safe now, loved.

 I did. I tried at least, but my the fumes of emotions from that caldron keep wafting before and the dregs of painful memories are being stirred up.

Today is going to be a full, full day socially. Again. And I feel like a nervous wreck. What a time to ‘mother’ needy friends. 

I need your prayers. ‘She’ said to hold that baby close and comfort her, but it isn’t enough. I feel like I need to give that tiny Marilyn to Jesus to comfort and heal, but where is the courage?  I feel so wounded, so vulnerable that I don’t even want to trust her to Jesus’ care.

I was discussing this with a couple of our children yesterday, and one remarked that Jesus was there
   all along.  Yes. I’m trying to hand her over to Him, but oh, my, the grown up I needs holding to.

If you’re going through this same battle, have courage, Jesus is with us even in the valley of the shadow of death, even when the poisonous mists almost overwhelm us.

Face forward!