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Marilyn Friesen

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Showing posts with label lonely. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lonely. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Guiding Light

Well, I think it is about time I ‘get on with the program’ and start talking about what I had intended to in the first place. Remember when I wrote that title about Better than a Fairy Tale? I must have left some of your scratching your heads, wonder what exactly was I talking about.

It’s heartbreaking growing up in a broken home. A person is left feeling sad and lonely, knowing that you are different from the rest and no one really understands. Oh, sure you try to conform on the outside, do what others do, but when you slip up and others notice, or maybe even avoid you, you feel it keenly, probably far more keenly than those who are basically secure would ever feel.

But live goes on, and when I reached my later teens, especially, I had a deep longing to have a happy, stable home like those around me. Many were the times I would go for long walks and cry out to the One who did empathise better than any human could.

I still marvel to this day that God had such a marvelous plan for my life. (For me, that little, flawed grain of sand that seemed so insignificant in my own eyes.)

Like I said, I spent a lot of time going for walks and praying the year I turned twenty. There was a tall straight spruce tree in the corner of our yard and one evening it pointed directly to a star. It seemed to have a message, or more specifically direction, for me.

At this time, I was living with my Mom and younger siblings in a small town within easy walking distance to the senior’s home where I was employed. It was about two miles out in the country. On one of these walks, it became clear to me that I wouldn’t marry one of the local young men, not that I'm sure what the significance of that information was.

Fall eased into winter then the cool, pleasant April days were upon us once again. Since our hometown hosted one of the larger churches in our denomination we had a rather large annual meeting held there that spring. There was well over a thousand in attendance but that wasn’t too many to confuse our Heavenly Father.

 Okay, sit up straight now, because this is where things get exciting. I was standing in the hall next to the Mother’s Room, (nursery) when way on the other side of the auditorium God pointed out a young man to me and said: ‘That’s the one you are going to marry.’

‘Hold on a minute. I have no idea who he is: he could be from California for all I knew!’ And on and on, but I couldn’t dismiss that thought all that easily. God wouldn’t let me.
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Thursday, April 7, 2016

Mommy Loves You

I don’t know your name, or your exact story, but I do know you’re hurting, sad. Just a few years ago you looked at ‘them’ with wide, uncomprehending eyes. You were a child, innocent, bewildered that people could do such things. Even in your childlike way you know they were being bad. But they kept on being bad, and when you cried they hurt you, too. You were a child, innocent and uncomprehending. For a while you would block it out because you couldn’t understand it anyways, sometimes you would even forget long enough to play a little.

But that didn’t last. As the abuse got worse, and they started to do it to you more and more often, you became afraid, it became harder to forget the cruelty and other things you didn’t know the names for.
After a while you were big enough to go to school. Someone saw your round, horror-filled eyes and they knew. They knew you had seen too much, suffered too much, but they didn’t know what to do.
That happened to me. I saw a little girl on the street once, she looked at me, I looked at her, and I saw. I read the message of pain in her eyes but felt helpless to do anything.

I still feel helpless, but want to do more, so, so much more. Sometimes I cry when girls just like you tell me the terrible things that bad ‘Daddy’s’ do to them.

I know you are afraid to share with me and I know why. You have learned not to trust adults. I want to let you know I care, I will believe you, I will LOVE you.

 When you are ready you may contact me on Hangouts. Others have. Remember I love YOU and I’m praying for YOU. Will you give me a call so I can show my love, and pray more effectively?

Just call me

Mommy

The others do.